


Houseplants

by Cat (ActualBuckyBarnes)



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Disorder, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Phil's Goddamn Houseplants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 18:19:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8633386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualBuckyBarnes/pseuds/Cat
Summary: The apartment complex itself isn't really a complex; it's a row of five apartments. In the first one resides the landlord, Louise Pentland. She's nice enough, especially since most of her tenants are starving artists and broke-ass college students. Speaking of, in the next apartment lives a couple, Alfie and Zoe. They're both in Uni. Then there's Tyler Oakley in the next one. He's really friendly, and was forced to settle somewhere not-so-decent because of his sexuality.
But they're not the stars of this show. No, that role would belong to Dan Howell and Phil Lester. They hate each other.





	

    The apartment complex itself isn't really a complex; it's a row of five apartments. In the first one resides the landlord, Louise Pentland. She's nice enough, especially since most of her tenants are starving artists and broke-ass college students. Speaking of, in the next apartment lives a couple, Alfie and Zoe. They're both in Uni. Then there's Tyler Oakley in the next one. He's really friendly, and was forced to settle somewhere not-so-decent because of his sexuality.

    But they're not the stars of this show. No, that role would belong to Dan Howell and Phil Lester. They hate each other. Tyler, the poor soul, has to endure their arguing the most. They're the only tenants Louise ever gets angry at (even though Tyler constantly brings guys back to his apartment and Zoe and Alfie are like a month and a half behind on rent).

    And it's for the most ridiculous reasons that they argue, too! They fight over Dan's dog and Phil's houseplants and _Phil was up to late listening to Fall Out Boy_ , and _Oh, like Kanye West is any better_ , and it's completely ludicrous that Tyler's still friends with either of them.

    According to Dan, he never starts the fights. According to Phil, he never yells first. And, to be fair, that's the way it goes. Phil snaps at Dan- which is completely out of character, if you ask Tyler- and Dan yells back- again, says Tyler, completely out of character- and Phil yells and Dan yells and then they storm away from each other.

    But they never see the aftermath.

    Not even Tyler sees Dan desperately trying to calm himself down by petting his dog, Juniper. Dan doesn't see Phil's empty stomach after not showing up to work because he was sick with about ten kinds of stomach flu.

    See, both boys were beautiful, and Tyler would argue that if _they just fucking_ made up _they'd be fine_. Phil was an artist, his parents didn't like that. Dan was going to be a lawyer. His parents loved it. And he did too- that is, making his parents proud.

    Maybe not so much the Lawyer thing.

    Phil's apartment looked lived-in, plastered in houseplants and accidental paint spills and it was littered with pencils and used-up sketchbooks and old photographs of Phil's brother, Martyn, and his old friends, Mark and PJ. He missed them.

    God, Phil was lonely, stuck in an endless loop of wanting someone to hold and going home to his apartment, which held only the fragments of his soul that he'd willingly put to paper or canvas and his many, many houseplants, which didn't quite make up for the lack of another human presence.

    Dan, on the other hand, didn't know what he was. He didn't think he was having panic attacks- he didn't think that's what was supposed to happen when he had a panic attack. Of course, the ones he had at school or work might count. And Dan was struggling to put food on his table with the costs of Juniper, school, and rent put together.

    Phil was struggling with that, too. Phil couldn't remember the last time he'd had a proper meal, and occasionally Tyler would have to give him some of his own food, aka he'd nearly have to shove it down Phil's throat because Phil was a "Martyring piece of shit,"- Tyler's words, not Phil's.

    Dan's apartment looked barely touched. He barely had enough money to buy furniture to put in the damn house, never mind buy a painting or two to spruce the place up. The most expensive thing was a ten-year-old keyboard propped up so that Dan could play it, which he hadn't in a long time.

    All the apartments had two bedrooms, a kitchen, a full bathroom, and a living room. Nothing else, that's why they were so cheap. There was a shared outdoor area, but it had pretty much gone to waste, except for a place for Juniper to go to the bathroom.

    And that brings us to present day, also known as the Day When Dan and Phil Would Finally Get Their Shit Together and Tyler Would Finally Get Some Sleep.

    And Phil would forever blame his houseplants for it.

* * *

    So, it was kind of an accident how they managed to become friends in the first place. Phil was walking home from work- he couldn't afford bus fees or gas for a car- and he was frowning at the ground. Today, he was supposed to have been paid. Keyword being "supposed".

    Needless to say, Phil was a _bit_ cranky. Just a bit.

   Phil really wanted someone to vent to, someone to listen to his complaints and tell him that his feelings were valid and that everything would be okay.

    Houseplants don't really fulfill that, unfortunately. So Phil put on some Fall Out Boy to fill the silence, and _Young Volcanoes_ will always fill him with- albeit temporary- happiness.

    In the other flat, Dan was doing his course work, sat at the desk in his room. His mind was wandering, an unfortunate habit of Dan's, and suddenly he was thinking about everything at once and nothing and why was he doing something that didn't make him happy and was it worth it to make his parents proud and would it even matter in the grand scheme of things and Dan couldn't breathe and he needed to prop himself up on the desk and Juniper was barking-

 _If that goddamn dog doesn't shut up_ , Phil thought to himself, before marching into Dan's apartment.

    "Hey, Dan!" Phil snapped, "Shut your dog up!"

    "Don't tell me how to treat my dog!" Dan yelled back, voice strong even though he knew if he tried he couldn't move his legs from where he was standing. His breaths were more like gasps and he knew there were tears streaming down his face, but he couldn't stop them.

    "Dan, are you okay?" Phil's voice was suddenly much softer. Dan let out a half-muffled sob from his room, and that was answer enough for Phil. Phil went into Dan's room and _great_ , now Dan's panic attack was back in full swing. Jupiter half-heartedly growled at Phil, but Phil was one of those sunshiney souls that animals couldn't help but love.

    "Dan, it's going to be okay," Phil said, voice suddenly soft, "Do you want a hug?"

     Dan shook his head, then nodded, accepting defeat. Phil wrapped Dan up in his spindly arms and Dan was shaking in Phil's embrace.

    "Is this why you yelled at me?" Phil suddenly felt _terrible_. How could he have ignored the symptoms of panic attacks for so long? Surely, nobody was really as big of an asshole as Dan had been to Phil for the past six months. Dan nodded his head into Phil's shoulder.

    "I'm so sorry," Phil said, on the verge of tears himself.

    "No," Dan croaked, "It's not your fault."

    "Do you want something?" Phil asked, "Tea?"

    "Yeah, yeah, tea sounds nice," Dan's voice was really hoarse, "In the top cabinet by the stove."

    "Okay," Phil said, helping to guide Dan to the kitchen. Dan sat down at the table and put his head onto his arms.

    "Thank you," Dan said when Phil handed him his tea, _Raspberry Zinger_. Dan chuckled at the name- it actually smelled really delicious, a citrus smell that Dan hoped would taste just as good.

    "Oh my God this is good I am a genius," Dan said, yawning into his tea, "Hey, Phil, did you get some?"

    "Uh, no," Phil replied, "You seem kinda low on food supplies."

    "You are too, then," Dan argued, "I've seen where you work, it can't pay well."

    "I'm trying to earn a promotion," Phil said defensively, "But... it's not really what I want to do."

     "Oh, really? You don't want to work at Best Buy forever?" Dan said sarcastically, and he and Phil snorted.

    "Yeah, I'm an artist," Phil mumbled, twiddling his thumbs. Dan looked interested.

    "Can I see some of your work?" Dan asked curiously. Phil noticed how tired he looked- and man, Dan did look exhausted.

    "After you take a nap," Phil promised, and Dan nearly passed out just thinking about it at the kitchen table. Phil walked Dan to his room, laying him down on the single bed.

    "You play?" Phil inquired, gesturing to the piano that lay abandoned in the corner of Dan's bedroom.

    "Not any more," Dan mumbled as he passed out, Jupiter jumping into bed next to him and curling up. _Enigma and mystery, Dan Howell_ , Phil chuckled to himself before turning around and shutting Dan's door quietly behind him.

    Phil left without a goodbye, heading back to his house and finding Tyler on his sofa. 

    "There's a microwave burrito in the fridge, and if you don't eat it I will force it down your throat," Tyler said.

    "Alright, alright, no need to attack me," Phil said, taking off the wrapper and putting the appropriate time on the fridge. Two minutes later and Phil was sitting on the couch next to Tyler, listening to him rant about how two boys were vying for his affections at the same time.

    "Okay, so there's Connor," Tyler said, annoyed, "His ass is really cute and he's got great hair and he loves photography."

    "But," Phil made a _go on_ motion with his hands, knowing there was more.

     "There's also Troye. Mr. Australian accent," Tyler groaned into his hands, " _His_ ass is really cute and _he's_ got great hair and he's got his own record label out."

     There was a pause as Phil ate his self-proclaimed Pity Burrito.

    "Why not both?" Phil suggested eventually, finishing his food and feeling almost _too_ full after not really eating enough in god-knows-how-long.

     "I've had..." Tyler made a face like he smelled something bad, "Not so good experiences with polyamorous relationships in the past."

     "Well, they're not Austin," Phil pointed out, "From what you've said, you're really torn up about it, when there's an easy solution. And anyway, wasn't that the thing you had in _college_ with that one guy when you found out he was cheating on you? Seems like you'd all be a bit more mature."

    "Uh," Tyler scratched the back of his neck, "I guess so. I'll have to bring it up to them, though."

     "Yay! High-five for new ideas," Phil said, putting his plate down on the floor. He fell asleep with his legs draped over Tyler's lap and Tyler busy texting his _interests_.

     Tyler smelled of Cherry and Mint. Phil knew he smelled like the body wash he used- really girly and fruity. Louise smelled of warm things and Christmas.

* * *

    Phil woke up with a crick in his neck. His eyes fluttered open to see Tyler drooling on his sofa.

     "Attractive," Phil muttered.

     Phil stood up and put his plate in the sink, looking at it forlornly.

     "Staring at your plate won't bring back your burrito," Tyler said from the couch.

    "Who says?" Phil countered, going around to water his plants. At least that's something he wasn't short on, Phil had lots of water. And houseplants.

     "Y'know, since you helped me with _my_ dire crisis," Tyler said, "I'll help you out with yours. You're on better terms with Dan, right?"

     "Uh, I dunno, we had a semi-decent conversation last night?" Phil shrugged his shoulders.

    "And you did it without shouting at one another," Tyler said, "Now that's what I call progress."

    "And what is your great solution, Oh Magical and Mighty Tyler?" Phil deadpanned.

    "Bitch, you should move in with Dan!" Tyler exclaimed, doing jazz-hands.

    "Tyler, no," Phil shot back, not needing an explanation.

    "Really, you'd only have to pay one rent," Tyler reasoned, "And one water bill, and one electric bill-"

     "Then why don't I move in with you?" Phil rebutted.

     "Because I bring a new guy back to bang every three weeks," Tyler shot back, opening his phone.

    "Dammit," Phil cursed. He could see where Tyler was coming from, but he still didn't want to move in with Dan-

    "He's got a dog," Phil said, knowing his argument was getting weaker, "I'm allergic to animals?"

     "You're allergic to cats, try again sweetie," Tyler said, replying to his texts from both Troye and Connor.

     "They said yes," Tyler whispered, "Fucking hell, I'm the best."

     "Sure you are, go get 'em tiger," Phil said in his awkward Northern accent.

      "Never say that again," Tyler said, grabbing his coat and stepping outside into the cold Michigan winter. Phil walked over to Dan's apartment to check on him.

      "Hey, Dan?" Phil knocked on the door.

     "Phil, come in!" Dan replied from the opposite end. Phil opened the door to see Dan nearly ready to leave for work- on Phil's day off.

    "Hey, could you do me a _huge_ favor and watch June? She doesn't like staying in her crate all day. She'll scratch at the door to be let out to go potty," Dan said, not really giving any room for Phil to say yes or no, and sprinted out the door.

    Phil sighed and opened the crate, and Juniper bounded out, licking Phil. The Shiba Inu mix placed her paws on Phil's shoulders and slobbered on his face until Phil pushed her off.

    "Easy girl, I need to work on stuff today," Phil grinned, going back to his own apartment to grab his sketchbook. He sat down and sketched Juniper, who was sunbathing. Then Phil sketched a flower, which took a long time to sketch from memory. Phil sat for a while, trying to figure out what to draw.

 _When in doubt, dragons_ , Phil thought, turning the page sideways to start on a dragon.

* * *

    Dan walked back in the door to see Juniper asleep on top of Phil... who was also asleep.

     "Hey! Wake up, you lazy assholes!" Dan yelled, smiling in spite of himself. Phil laughed, and Juniper leaped off of Phil's chest, causing the older man to make an ' _oof_ ' noise. She barreled towards Dan, almost jumping in his arms.

     "Nice to see you too," Dan said, burying his face in her fur.

    "Wow, no warm hugs for Phil?" Phil asked, "I'm disappointed."

     Phil winced for a second, afraid he'd over-stepped the boundaries of their new "I don't hate you and you're actually pretty chill" relationship.

     "Come here, you great lump," Dan laughed, opening his arms. Phil felt his heart sing, and he felt like the piece of him that had been missing was finally there.

      "Tyler from 2A actually suggested something pretty awesome to me the other day," Phil said, "It would be really nice to move in together."

     Dan gave him a weird look, so Phil continued, "We'd have less rent to pay and we'd actually be able to afford food, I'll have company and you'll have someone to calm you down if you're having a panic attack-"

     "Sounds like a plan," Dan said, "I'm in. We can go to your place, mine has less stuff. Just a wardrobe and my bedding and a piano."

     "That's not a lot," Phil agreed, "So, should we run this by Louise?"

* * *

     Louise, as it turned out, was so happy that Dan and Phil weren't fighting any more that she cried tears of joy.

     "Yeah, I'll put up the 'For Lease' sign again," Louise said, "And there is an extra fee for pets-"

     "What about therapy animals?" Phil asked quietly. Louise gave Phil a curious look and asked that he expand on that.

     "Uh, Dan, can I?" Phil asked softly, and Dan nodded, sucking in a sharp breath.

     "Dan has panic attacks," Phil said slowly, grabbing Dan's hand, "Juniper is the closest thing to meds he can afford at the moment."

     "Oh," Louise looked at Dan sadly, "Of course, of course she can be free. I expect you to move into Phil's apartment by Wednesday, does that work?"

     "Oh, yeah," Phil nodded gratefully. He and Dan walked back to their apartments, and Dan paused.

     "Let's get Tyler to help us!" He said, and despite Phil's frantic protests, Dan opened the door.

     And immediately regretted it.

     He slammed the door shut, and Phil was afraid that he was having another panic attack, but Dan started laughing.

     "Tyler, get out of your _special friend_ and help us, you gay fuck!" Dan yelled through the mail delivery slot.

     "Fuck you!" Tyler growled, opening the door with boxer shorts on haphazardly, "You cock-blocked me, you asshole."

    "Tyler," A deep voice crooned, "Come back to bed."

     Phil noted an Australian accent.

     "Troye!" Phil yelled over Tyler's protests, "How's it been going! This one doesn't shut up about you!"

     "You don't?" Troye grinned, voice still husky. Tyler was now a shade of red that Phil hadn't thought possible.

     "I will help you move if you leave now and don't bother me for the next," Tyler checked the clock, "Hour and a half."

     "Ooh, someone's a busy boy," Dan said, and clearly, everybody except Tyler found this entertaining.

     "Says the person who's actually moving to get into someone else's pants," Tyler shot back, and Troye let out a soft, "Ohhhhhhh," from behind him.

     "Shut up, we're leaving," Dan was blushing furiously when he slammed the door in Tyler's face. Zoe poked her head out of her and Alfie's door to tell them to bugger off.

     "What do you want to move first?" Phil asked. Dan shrugged.

     "The wardrobe's the heaviest thing, let's have Tyler handle that for nearly burning out my retinas," Dan said, "Let's move Juniper, my comforter, and all my food."

    Phil nodded, and the two got to work. He and Dan grabbed his bed clothes and took them to Phil's apartment.

    "You ready for the grand tour?" Phil said, opening the door and gesturing melodramatically.

    "That is a lot of bloody houseplants," Dan said, mildly impressed.

    "Yep," Phil said, "That one's Janice, and then there's Doris, and Susan Five, and-"

    "Wait, Susan Five?" Dan asked, "What happened to the four other Susans?"

    "You don't want to know," Phil said, making his best 'war-weary soldier' face (in reality, Susan One had gone too long without food, Susan Two was still in Phil's bedroom, Susan Three had unfortunately fallen from Phil's shelf, and Susan Four was Phil's lesson that plants do _not_ belong in the cabinet).

    By the time Tyler and Troye were outside, somewhat dressed, albeit sloppily and with messy hair and hickeys dotting Tyler's collar.

     "Nice," Phil commended as the two stepped in, "You two get to handle the wardrobe, congrats."

     "Great," Troye groaned, "Twenty years in the closet and now I have to move one, this just isn't fair." Tyler let out a laugh.

     "You're only twenty?" Dan asked.

     "Hey, you're nineteen, he's twenty-three, don't look at me," Troye put his hands up in surrender.

     "Touche." Dan replied. Troye and Tyler exchanged a slow kiss before moving the wardrobe, Tyler moving the clothes and Troye loading the wardrobe onto a dolly that Lou had let them barrow.

     "Thank God for Louise," Troye said, wheeling the dresser into Dan's new room. Phil thanked each of them with a hug, and the two other men went back to Tyler's room to 'watch TV'.

      "Oh my God, I swear..." Tyler pinched the bridge of his nose, "Phil, we are actually watching TV. We're not superhuman."

     "Sure," Phil said, dragging out the 'u' sound. Dan burst out into giggles from where he was standing.

      "Goodbye," Tyler said pointedly, leading Troye back to their flat. Dan made Phil grab something to eat.

     "Hey, it's your food now, too," Dan said threateningly. Phil took a carton of Ramen and put water in it before heating it up. _Better than a pity burrito, I suppose,_ Phil thought.

* * *

     The next few weeks were amazing to both of them. Dan typically didn't like it when people touched him during panic attacks, but after he had calmed down, he just wanted to collapse into someone's arms and cry for a bit. Which is what he did. And Phil let him, because Dan remedied that persistent loneliness that had been bothering Phil since he'd moved in.

     "Your drawings are amazing, by the way," Dan said softly over breakfast one day, "I don't think I've ever told you that."

    "Dan," Phil asked instead of actually answering, "Are you happy?"

     "Am I-" Dan closed and opened his mouth like a fish a couple of times, "What do you mean?"

     "With me," Phil said, "I mean. With school. With being a lawyer in two years' time. With working a shitty desk job to pay our bills."

     "With you," Dan paused, "Oh God, am I happy with you. You should never doubt that."

     "You neglected the last two parts of my question," Phil said.

     "Oh, so you caught that, did you?" Dan smiled sadly, "No. No, I don't think I am happy with Law. But it makes my parents happy."

     "Does your anxiety make your parents happy?" Phil asked.

     "Well, they've never really," Dan pushed his cereal around with his spoon, "They've never really paid attention to me. Mostly. I mean, I wasn't ever neglected, I just... they've never asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. That sort of thing."

     "What _do_ you want to be when you grow up?" Phil pressed.

      "Am I not grown up?" Dan grinned at Phil.

     " _I'm_ not grown up," Phil grinned back, "And I'm older than you."

     "I honestly don't know," Dan said, smile slipping from his face, "What I want to do. Maybe play piano, maybe act."

     "Then go act," Phil said, looking Dan deeply in the eyes, "Actually, I think I've got a contact that'll help with that."

     Dan perked up.

     "Really?" He gasped. Phil copied the number of one PJ Ligouri and sent it to Dan via text message.

      "Hang on," Phil said, shooting PJ a text.

_From: Phil_

_\- hey man. know we haven't talked in a while, but i know someone who'd be rlly gr8 on one of your sets. show him the ropes and i promise he'll be the hardest worker you've ever seen._

_To: Phil_

_\- i'm actually starting to work on a new project and i could def use some fresh faces! what's his name?_

_From: Phil_

_\- here's his number: 1-473-347-6382_

_To: Phil_

_\- sounds cool :]_

      "There, he's got your number," Phil said, "You should be getting on your way."

      Dan glanced at the clock.

     "Oh, fuck, yeah," Dan said, grabbing his bag. Phil gave him a hug before putting Jupiter in her crate and heading out himself.

     "Sorry, girl," Phil said as Jupiter stared at him with _the_ saddest eyes in existence, "I have to go to work, and you are a _piece_ of work when we leave you out."

    Phil's heart fluttered at the word 'we', even though he was alone.

     God, what was happening to him?

* * *

     It was easy for Phil to fall in love with Dan now; he saw past Dan's faults and into his soul. He was one of the very few people who saw past the panic attacks and Juniper- who was training to be an actual service dog as Dan's anxiety had been worsening.

     "Of course you chose a meme to be your service dog," Phil rolled his eyes lightheartedly at Dan. Dan grinned back at him, mockingly punching him and calling him "A spoon."

    "What's that even supposed to mean?" Phil giggled, and Dan tackled him. Suddenly they were wrestling on the ground, and Phil managed to roll out on top of Dan. They both immediately realized what it looked like, and hurried to scramble off of one another.

     "Sorry-"

      "It's fine," Dan brushed it off, "We were having fun."

      Phil couldn't help but look into Dan's eyes. A deep, rich brown stared back, and Phil wondered how he'd gotten so lovestruck over someone he'd hated just a month ago. Phil stepped forwards, bridging the gap between them, but it was Dan who kissed him first.

     Dan broke off, starting to breathe heavily.

     "Oh God did you want that are you okay I'm sorry I won't do that again-"

     "Dan," Phil interrupted, "There was nothing I'd wanted to do more than kiss you since the day I met you."

     Dan stopped talking for once. His pupils shrunk back to normal, and Phil could tell he was allowing himself to calm down.

     "Phil," Dan breathed, pressing his lips to Phil's once more. Phil cupped the back of Dan's head and Dan wrapped his arms around Phil's waist. It was a slow kiss, and it was sweet. Phil was licking Dan's lip and Dan pulled Phil closer and Phil tugged a bit on Dan's hair and Dan smelled like cinnamon and the woods-

     Suddenly, Tyler burst into the room.

     "Oh my God," Tyler was shocked. Dan and Phil broke apart, blushing immensely.

     "I _called_ it!" Tyler yelled, "Lou, you owe me ten bucks!"

     "Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Phil asked sarcastically.

      "'Course I have," Tyler rebutted, "I'm just a little shit."

      "Damn right you are, now get out of our house," Phil said, closing the door and locking it this time. He and Dan went back to his room.

.o0o.

     PJ came around to the coffee shop after he and Dan had talked some more. And Dan and Phil were there, and then Phil was leaping up and bypassing the handshake PJ offered for a warm hug.

     "'m so glad to see you," Phil said softly, and PJ laughed.

     "I've forgotten how hug-y you are," PJ said, returning the hug. PJ smelled of burning things and something ancient.

      "PJ, this is Dan," Phil introduced them.

      "Hi PJ," Dan grinned, shaking his hand.

      "This one's not a hugger?" PJ teased Phil.

      "Actually shut up," Phil laughed, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth.

       "So, what's new with you?" PJ asked Phil.

     "Well," Phil said, suddenly feeling a bit melancholy, "I guess... art's not going as well as I'd expected."

     PJ could read between the lines.

     "You're eating, right?" PJ asked, "'Cus I can remember back when we were studying for our GCSEs."

     "Damn, I thought you'd forgotten," Phil said, "But yes, I am eating enough. Me and Dan decided to move in together to save on rent, and it's kind of spiraled up from there."

     PJ smiled at Phil.

     "You two are adorable together," He said.

     "You should see Troye and Connor," Dan mumbled, "God, those two are sappy."

     "And you!" PJ turned to Dan, "The man of the hour. Mind introducing yourself?"

     "Oh," Dan looked a bit surprised, "As you know, my name's Dan, I'm almost twenty and I'm majoring in Law, although I'm not sure that I really want to."

     "Understandable," PJ said, wrinkling his nose, "I'd probably fly off the handle and murder someone if I had to consider becoming a lawyer. Trust me, film is much more fun."

     "We went to the same University," Phil smiled, "I remember you saying that you pitied the math majors, and Evan trying not to slap you."

      "Excuse you, he did slap me!" PJ laughed, "Many, many times."

      Dan was grinning too, and he leaned into Phil.

     "So, what's this new film you're working on?" Phil asked.

      "Oh, so we're getting down to business now?" PJ replied, "It's the film adaptation of _Varjak Paw_. Great book, I suggest you read it. It's an animated movie, so Dan would be voice acting for the main character, Varjak Paw."

     "That would be so cool!" Dan's eyes lit up, "I loved that book!"

     "Nerd," Phil teased, pressing a kiss to Dan's temple.

     "Fuck you," Dan replied fondly.

     "I'd love to have him on set," PJ said, "I've actually brought a copy of the script with me. We're a bit low on budget, so I'm going to have to ask you, Phil, to help with the animation. It's a pretty simplistic style, I've brought some samples because I'm really excited about this job."

     PJ handed out the respective pieces, and Phil couldn't deny that the animation style was adorable.

     "So, is this going to be computer generated or hand-drawn?" Phil asked.

     "Computer generated," PJ answered, "God, I'm not a monster." He and Phil shared a laugh.

     "And, PJ, Dan has a bit of an anxiety problem," Phil said, voice suddenly low, "And he's got a therapy dog he needs to take with him on set-"

     "No problem at all!" PJ said, "Chris actually had a similar problem back while he was trying to balance school, work, and me, and his family, and his interests."

     "Thank you," Dan smiled gratefully.

     "I'm assuming that she's properly trained and won't try to eat any of the other animators or voice actors?" PJ grinned. Dan and Phil knew it was a joke and they both laughed at it.

    "See you on Monday?" Phil asked.

    "See you then," PJ said, hugging Phil as he got up. He hugged Dan too, and set off to his hotel room. Dan and Phil walked hand-in-hand back to their apartment, feeling happy and warm.

    "I love you," Phil said, and Dan returned it. They met for a slow kiss, a sweet one, outside Phil's door.

    "Ooooooh," Connor said, acting like a small child and poking his head out of Tyler's door.

    "Fuck off," Dan shot at him.

    "Good idea," Connor said, "Tyler!"

     "Oh God let's get inside _right_ now," Phil said, taking out his phone and blasting music.

     "Hey," Phil said, starting to sing.

    "We don't believe," He pulled Dan up with him, "What's on TV, because it's what we want to see."

     Dan joined in, "And what we want, we know we can't believe. We have all learned to kill our dreams."

     They danced and sang along to the song, and Juniper started jumping around hyperactively during the chorus.

     "Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Phil laughed. He spun Dan around and the two celebrated the movie, surrounded by Phil's drawings and houseplants and Dan's piano in the corner. Once again, Phil realized how much he owed to Dan, how happy Dan made him. Phil could only hope that things would stay good.

     Then, Phil realized, as long as he was with Dan, things would be good.

     "And we'll make money selling you hair!" Dan sang, twirling back into Phil's chest. Phil was brought back to reality and forgot about everything for a while, dancing around to upbeat Twenty One Pilots songs with him.

      "I love you, you dork," Dan said, kissing Phil tenderly.

* * *

     Over the next week, before the acting would really begin, Dan filled out the papers to drop out of College.

     "You're sure you want to do this?" Phil asked softly, kissing the underneath of Dan's jaw.

      "Yes," Dan said softly, signing his name at the bottom. Phil turned Dan around to give him a warm hug, and Dan nearly started sobbing into the material of Phil's jumper.

      "What if my parents don't support me any more?" Dan whimpered into Phil's shoulder, "I haven't even told them about us!"

     "If they don't support you," Phil thought for a moment, "Then were they ever really your parents? Aren't parents supposed to tell you to follow your passions?"

     "I suppose," Dan sighed, hiccuping into Phil's jumper. Phil broke off from the hug and Dan nearly whimpered.

     "Hey, you see that?" Phil pointed out the window, "It's snowing." Dan knew what this meant.

     "We're going outside!" Phil said cheerfully, grabbing his coat and boots and gloves. Dan sighed and did the same.

      "You spoon," Dan said playfully, bumping his shoulder into Phil's. Juniper jumped around excitedly.

     "Someone's eager to go outside," Dan grinned at the Shibe.

     "Let's go!" Phil said, bounding out into the frigid air. Dan followed out, a scarf tied around his neck. With Dan's decision to drop College and he and Phil renting an apartment together, they could afford small luxuries like scarves and phones, albeit old ones. Phil had even bought a new laptop, and they marathoned Netflix sometimes.

     Dan and Phil ran around in the snow for a while, building a snowman and making snow angels before some others joined them.

    First there was Zoe and Alfie, who squealed as they ran through the freezing air. Alfie was pretty close to graduating, and Zoe was a sophomore.

    "Catch me if you can!" Zoe screamed, running away from Alfie. Dan and Phil chased after her too, and soon they were accompanied by Louise, who was bundled up in a thick coat and gloves. Dan's meltdown was completely forgotten.

   "You guys," Louise laughed as Troye, Connor, and Tyler all walked outside to see what was going on. Connor hissed as snow accidentally touched his bare foot from the porch, and they disappeared back inside to get their snow stuff on.

   Dan threw the first snowball at Connor. It hit him dead in the face.

   "Okay, you're in for it now!" Connor yelled, scooping up snow to throw back at Dan.

   "Oh I'm so scar-" Dan was cut off by a ball of snow hitting him in the forehead.

   "It's okay, Daniel, for I will defend thy honor!" Phil declared, throwing snow at Connor.

    And missing.

    And hitting Tyler.

    "Bitch, you did _not_ ," Tyler laughed, throwing snow back at Phil. Suddenly, everybody was throwing snowballs, with no clear sides or rules, and everybody was laughing and everybody was having so much fun.

    And then Juniper knocked Phil into Dan, sending them both toppling to the ground.

    Phil looked down to check if Dan was okay, and the younger was laughing, snow in his hair and on his eyelashes.

    "You're so beautiful," Phil said quietly, voice almost drowned out by the howling wind. Phil lowered his face and pressed his freezing lips to Dan's.

    "Actually, I think me and Zo are going to go inside and warm up a bit," Alfie said, grabbing Zoe's hand and leading her back into their apartment.

     "And they're making out I'm done," Troye said, and the three walked back into Tyler's apartment. Louise laughed as she took off her gloves and went back inside too, leaving just Dan and Phil, softly connecting their frozen lips in the dead of winter.

    "I love you so much," Phil said breathlessly, "What do you say we go back inside and warm up?"

     "If you're implying what I think you're implying then count me the fuck in," Dan said, eyes staring fondly into Phil's clear blue ones. Phil took Dan by the hand and led him inside.

     "It's a good thing my toes are numb because I just stubbed one on your bloody houseplant," Dan said, "You have a problem."

     "Yes, yes I do," Phil said, kissing Dan a bit harder and removing his jacket as he ground into the younger.

* * *

     Dan had done it, he'd dropped out of College.

     "I'm so proud of you," Phil said, eyes glowing in admiration.

     Dan didn't feel so proud of himself.

     "I think I want to call my parents and explain to them," Dan said.

     "Okay," Phil returned, "You don't owe them anything, but okay."

     So Dan dialed his parent's number.

     " _Dan! I didn't know you had a phone!_ " His mother crowed on the other line.

     "Mum, I have two things to tell you," Dan said, voice serious. His nails were digging into Phil's hand, it was probably painful, but Phil didn't mention anything.

     " _Okay, sweetie! Go ahead!_ " Dan's mom said.

     "First, mum, I have a boyfriend," Dan started breathing rapidly, and Phil kissed Dan's cheek as a silent way of expressing his pride.

     " _That's great, sweetie,_ " Dan's mom didn't sound like she thought it was great. Dan took a deep breath.

    "And second, I've dropped out of Uni," Dan said, voice getting quieter.

     " _Okay,_ " Dan's mom sounded _angry_ now, " _Don't talk to me ever again. You're no son of mine._ "

     Dan clapped a hand to his mouth as his mom went on a rant about how Dan had a responsibility to make her proud, about how his father was even more disappointed, about how Dan wasn't welcome back home any longer, and how he wouldn't be able to connect with his younger brother, Aiden, any longer.

     After the phone call, Dan buried himself in Phil's warmth and sobbed harder than he ever had.

      And Phil was right there to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay. Phil made Dan some hot chocolate and a cookie to cheer him up.

     "Swiss Miss and Wal-Mart cookies?" Dan laughed/hiccuped, "God, we're poor."

     "And, Dan- look at me," Phil said, and Dan turned his red-rimmed eyes to look into Phil's crystal ones, "That's _okay_. You're trying your best, and I'm doing mine. We've got ourselves a job, right? We're putting food on the table, right?"

     Dan nodded.

     "Then what should your mum care?" Phil brought Dan in for another hug, and after he let go, Dan drank his hot chocolate gratefully.

      "Love you," Dan said softly.

      "You too," Phil returned, and after that, Dan went to bed. Phil knew that Dan wouldn't be the same.

* * *

     And he wasn't. After the phone call, Dan seemed like he was more _free_. He could take up a less-part-time job that paid much better, and he and Phil knew that they were digging themselves out of their impoverished hole.

       "First day of filming's today," Phil said cheerfully, "Let's go!"

      He and Dan donned their coats and gloves and went to PJ's studio for Dan to record.

      "I'm so pleased with the scripting," Dan said, "It's so close to the original."

      "Good, I'm glad," Phil said, actually about halfway through the book himself.

      "Who's your favorite character?" Dan asked while they were walking.

      "Probably Clyde," Phil said.

       "Oh, so you're to that bit?" Dan asked, "Where he actually talks to a dog?"

       "Yeah," Phil grinned back, "It's a really good story."

      "I know," Dan smiled back, "Why do you think I was so excited for this? And I get to work with like-minded people, and you finally get recognized for your talents. Honestly, I'm starting to doubt the fact that PJ's a human. I think he's some sort of God."

       "You can say that again," Phil said, "This movie's gonna do pretty well in theaters if I do say so myself- I'm not sure how PJ got so lucky with this one."

     They walked hand-in-hand to the studio, where PJ was waiting for them with a few other people.

     "Dan, Phil, this is Cat Valdez, Joey Graceffa, Sean McWhatHisFace, and my boyfriend, Chris Kendall," PJ introduced, "Yes, I did pick my boyfriend to play Clyde, calm yourselves." Sean glared at PJ.

      "Sorry, he prefers _Jack_ ," PJ teased, and Jack let out a little laugh.

     Dan could barely believe that just between the five of them, they'd be playing all of the characters.

     "Welcome to the world of voice acting," PJ said cheerfully, "Now, Phil, the animators are just down the hall a bit, follow that hallway."

     "Thanks," Phil said, kissing Dan on the forehead before leaving. Dan had felt good enough that he didn't need to bring Juniper, but now that Phil had left he wasn't so sure.

     "If you need a minute, just say so," PJ said, understanding the slightly panicked look in Dan's eyes all too well. Dan nodded his head gratefully and sat down as the group started working on the voices of the characters.

* * *

     Phil met the other two animators, named Shane and Hazel.

     "Alright, who're you?" Shane asked.

     "I'm Phil," Phil said, "I do some art, and PJ's my friend from school, so I figured I'd help out a bit."

    "Oh, cool," Hazel had an Irish accent, "Can you draw a scene for us, following the art style, just so we can see how good you are?"

     Phil nodded and sat in front of the computer, getting to work. He was pretty amazed at the capabilities of the computer (it had a drawing pad attached to it _and_ it had a touch screen).

     "Wow," Shane said, "Well, I'm done."

     "Shut up, you're fantastic," Hazel rebutted, and the others all got to know one another because, according to Hazel, they wouldn't be able to do much until the voice actors had finished up with scenes so that they could sync the audio.

* * *

    "That is so fucking cool," Tyler said when Phil told him about the movie. All of the tenants were hanging out in Tyler's apartment, having a sort-of get together.

     "Yeah, and we can take whoever we want to the premiere!" Dan was really excited about it. They'd just gotten started and already, Dan was bursting out of his chest to get stuff done.

     "You're adorable," Phil smiled at Dan.

     "You two disgust me," Connor almost-yelled from the kitchen, bringing Tyler a whiskey and taking a sip of a beer for himself.

     "Thanks babe," Tyler winked at Connor. Connor blushed a bit as he sat down on the floor.

      "I wish you guys the best of luck," Troye said honestly, and then the conversation shifted to Troye's music career and Zoe's YouTube channel and Alfie's clothing line and it seemed as though each one of them were finding success.

     They were just waiting for something to go wrong.

* * *

     And it did, after all, working full-time and trying to shoot a movie were stressful enough without a panic disorder. Dan had to bring Juniper with him everywhere, just in case.

     Dan did have quite a few panic attacks while on the set, but luckily he had Juniper there. And the acting itself never stressed him out, they could always do another take, so Dan never really had attacks while he was on set.

    PJ and the rest of them weren't the problem, though. It was with Dan's other company, the one that sold stationary supplies, that held the issues.

    They just simply didn't allow dogs on the premises. Dan felt trapped in his work-space, and started freaking out every once in a while with nobody to calm him down, and eventually one of his bosses caught him having an attack.

    The following conversation was pretty ugly.

    Dan spent a long time crying and being comforted by Phil after that.

     Phil whispered sweet nothings into Dan's ear, telling him that it would be okay and that nothing would hurt him.

    "I'm still making enough money to feed us and Juniper, and we've already got enough money to last us until the movie release," Phil said, and Dan nodded into the crook of Phil's neck.

* * *

    The release of the movie was wild. It had taken a year and a half for the movie to be completely finished, and the art of the movie was sweeping and grand and colorful and Dan couldn't believe that _his_ voice was coming from the speakers in the movie theater.

    "We did it," Dan said excitedly, and Phil could've cried from happiness. At the theater, Juniper sat dutifully at Dan's feet, wagging her tail excitedly whenever Dan's voice would speak from on screen.

    Dan's heart fluttered at the rending of the art, and he couldn't help but think about how _goddamn good_ Phil was at art. Along with Hazel and Shane, of course. The soundtrack was gorgeous, organized by none other than Troye himself (another recommendation on Phil's behalf).

    After the movie, Dan and Phil shared a kiss. Dan couldn't stop grinning.

    "We did it," Phil said, echoing what Dan had said earlier. The two were wrapped in a cocoon of happiness and peace, and the tears streaming down Dan's face were ones of joy.

* * *

    Four years later, Dan and Phil Lester lived a busy, happy life in the city.

    "Another call?" Dan asked, "Wow, Mr. Freelance Artist over here is getting popular."

    "Would that make you Mr. Freelance Artist too?" Phil asked, pecking Dan on the cheek. Phil looked his husband up and down, feeling the word ring around in his head.

    "When did you get taller than me?" Phil asked, "Who the hell made that decision?"

    "Genetics," Dan rebuked.

    "Fuck Genetics," Phil laughed.

    "I got another job too," Dan smiled, "An original movie."

    Their apartment wasn't owned by Louise, I'm afraid. She was doing well, though. Troye had gone on tours, Tyler was a stay-at-home dad. Things hadn't exactly worked out with Connor, though, because that's the way the world works sometimes. But they were still friends. Connor was a photographer. Juniper had passed away, because that's the way the world works sometimes, and now Dan had another therapy dog, named Lucy.

    "Congrats!" Phil was smiling back even brighter, "Hope you have fun."

    "I hope you have fun doing your art-y thing." Dan laughed, "And another bloody houseplant   came in the post today. When will you stop?"

    "Never," Phil replied dramatically.

    "God, I hope not," Dan was suddenly serious, and glowing with happiness as he laid a kiss on Phil's lips.  


**Author's Note:**

> that was a wild ride, holy actual hell. thank you guys so much for sticking it out to the end, i hope you guys loved it! if you want, you can have a cheeky peek at my [tumblr](http://llamaswithbeanies.tumblr.com/), leave a comment.


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